\u201cIt\u2019s cancer,\u201d are the two words one never wishes to hear in a doctor\u2019s room. The diagnosis brings shock, desperation and a sense of pall for the patient and the family. Cancer as a disease requires tremendous physical and mental strength from the patient to overcome it, but it also demands emotional competence from the caregiver to help the patient throughout that journey. My father has been a cancer patient for nearly five years, and as a family we have seen trying times along with significant victories and encouraging lessons.<\/p>\n
This experience has made me believe that cancer is not simply a disease for the patient but a crucial experience for a caregiver demanding resilience and strength. The strength to handle the patient, challenge one\u2019s weaknesses and above all evolve through the crisis.<\/p>\n
And for me, the first step towards building that strength comes from accepting the reality, i.e. \u2013 the onset of the disease. When the doctor confirms a biopsy report as positive, the mind dives into flight versus fight mode. A wave of numbness washes over you, sweeping into fear and helplessness. You wish to escape the present and at the same time, hold your loved one\u2019s hand, hug them, maybe even cry with them.<\/p>\n
I write below some of the steps one can take to navigate through the news, and somehow reconcile into a calmer mindset.<\/p>\n
1. Let the news sink in: There is perhaps no easy way to do it but it is extremely crucial to take your time in adjusting to the development. Face the magnanimity and seriousness of the disease and its consequences. There might be a rush of emotions you\u2019ve never felt before, including anguish, moral dilemma or vulnerability. Letting your guard down to accept the circumstance helps in relieving the anxiety and makes room for thought clarity.<\/p>\n
2. Erase the \u2018why us\u2019 syndrome: One of the first thoughts that envelopes a cancer patient is, \u201cWhy me? Why my family? Is it some form of karma?\u201d In a crisis like this, fatalism has a unique way of entering even the most rationale minds, causing the patient to lose sense of purpose and direction in life. As a caregiver, you must initiate dialogues that prevent such thoughts from settling in. Survivor stories often help uplift the patient\u2019s spirits and disable negativity from taking root in his\/her mind.<\/p>\n
3. Study the case, do not speculate it: Cancer invokes deep-seated fears around it, making us misconstrue the real picture. Taking negative cues from other cases and reading too much on the internet builds worst-case scenarios, not develop better understanding. With the oncologist\u2019s help, the caregiver must study the case and prevent the patient from falling into the trap of fear and dogma around the disease.<\/p>\n
Cancer has the vile ability to divert the attention towards itself, and that\u2019s primarily because we fight very hard to deny it. We hope it isn\u2019t cancer, then we hope it wasn\u2019t cancer; and that vicious loop never ends. But the moment we address it, the scope of its fear shrinks. We no longer live in denial, rather begin thinking through the situation.<\/p>\n
Acceptance of the disease does not lessen its presence but makes room to live beyond it. Recognising one\u2019s ability to live through it, summons the courage to fight. I learn that each day from my father as he tackles the disease yet continues with life. He goes to work on weekdays, and prepares savoury dishes on weekends while listening to Mohammad Rafi\u2019s songs. He has sidelined fear to enjoy his present, and that\u2019s what has made all the difference.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cIt\u2019s cancer,\u201d are the two words one never wishes to hear in a doctor\u2019s room. The diagnosis brings shock, desperation and a sense of pall for the patient and the family. Cancer as a disease requires tremendous physical and mental strength from the patient to overcome it, but it also demands emotional competence from the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23954,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[239],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23953","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23953"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23953\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23955,"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23953\/revisions\/23955"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23954"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blastingskyhawk.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}